Grief Post of the Week
You'll Never Truly Understand
I can not say that "you'll never truly understand" loud enough to the outside world and that's a fact. Until you have lived through the experiences that this community has, you can not understand it. Period. There's not an associative experience that you can bring up that even comes close to what we've experienced so stop trying. We know you want to "relate" to us, but that's not what we need. We need friendship, compassion, and a little bit of grace during our difficult journey. Plus, there's a massively heavy price that all of us had to pay to be able to understand this life and none of us chose or wanted to pay it. None of us want you to understand this life because of the price of admission you have to be able to afford. Why do you, the outside world, try so hard to join us when you know what it costs to be in the community? I do not and will not ever understand that from the outside world. Sure...we all will, at some point, experience loss but why would you (the outside world) want to symbolically accelerate life to get to that point? It baffles me.
I also can not say loud enough "do not assume what this life is like" when you have never experienced it or experienced it the way I have. On a personal note (each griever is different), do not associate and assume the lost of a pet is anywhere near the same as me losing my son. It is not the same...ever. It never will be to me and I will spew out choice words towards your assumption and association. Everything you "think" this life is like will completely change when you really experience this life. All of your theories and assumptions will be thrown out the window and you will not like people assuming things about your journey just like all of us grievers experiencing this life.
At the end of the day, I know what the unimaginable pain and devastation this life is. I have paid this immensely high price to join this club. I know what the new "norm" is. I know what ultimate suffering and living numb feels like. I want none of this for you. I don't want you to experience this. Just be a good friend. Be the friend you've always said you are and things will eventually be OK. God Bless.